Horror Flick of the Week: Bride of Chucky

I am so tired of people tearing into this movie lately, with the new (and amazing-looking) release of the latest 'Child's Play' coming out. They say this one made it into a comical sort of series, and I completely disagree. Seed...well, Seed is the real comedy movie. Bride still has quite a few great horror moments in it. The opening alone is filled with awesome atmosphere, and I find it a heck of a lot creepier than the second film's opening. Frankly, I can't stand the third...


Anyway, I don't really remember full pictures of Tiffany being released before the movie came out, just these sort of creepy banners that lagged a lot with their primitive 90s graphics. I mean, this is pretty much what you got, and it was an effective teaser...

You can just imagine an impressionable 8-year-old horror addict going crazy over this displaying itself at the bottom of the page every time he or she might sneak online during computer class. I wish I could go through a feeling like that again, especially the day I finally got to watch the damn thing. What's funny, is that it still puts me in a sort of 'creepy mood' when I watch it, unlike many other over-the-top scary films.


It starts with a guy going through what I can only imagine is an evidence rooms, with shots of different lockers containing your average confiscated things: Michael's mask, Jason's mask and machete, Freddy's glove, etc. etc. Boring, right? Then...a black bag...and the guy takes it. It's not too long before we discover what's in the bag, right after the guy gets brutally murdered...

Yes. Chucky. He's not being re-made either, so Tiffany, his former girlfriend, sews him up. After a voodoo ritual and a murder, he's right as rain again, and they're finally going to get married-...not really. Actually, apparently there was a misunderstanding about some sort of proposal that never happened, and Chucky (Charles Lee Ray) had no intentions of marrying his sweetheart.

Fellows, if you're 1 foot tall, and dating a serial killer who just happily watched you murder her boy toy...do try not to piss her off...

You might end up like this...

And that will only lead to this...

Then you'll feel bad, and of course you'll do this...

And before you know it, John Ritter's dead in his niece's truck peppered with nails-...trust me, it's an absolute nightmare, and you'll probably have to do all the cleaning up.

It's probably best to avoid all that drama in the first place, and watch 'Bride of Chucky' instead. Then you can both just kiss, make up, and hide the body together. Ultimately, that's what love is all about.