Book of the Week: Strangely Enough by C. B. Colby / Happy Halloween

First of all, happy Halloween! Second, the book of the week is once more brought to you by nostalgia. One of my fondest memories as a kid was going to places like Goodwill or huge library book sales where you could pay 5-10 bucks for a large brown bag to fill with books to your heart's content. This was one of many finds I had that was decommissioned after a long and honorable service (1959 actually). With most of the stories being fairly easy to read, generally no more than 2-3 pages, it's such a great book to burn through and read to kids. Not to mention, it's not so morbid or dark that you'd have to deal with too many nightmares afterwards.

Odd Monsters

Bored with the bogeyman? Not finding the clown thing too funny anymore? Are vampires in your nightmares just sucking you dry? Well, not to worry, there's plenty of 'wonderful' creatures out there to ensure that your psyche stays freshly traumatized for years to come. Keeping the Japanese one to just one, because their mythology is so broad with yokai and spirits, that you can't possibly cover them all in one go.

Katawaguruma/Katawa Guruma

Origin: Japanese

The female counterpart to the Wa nyūdō, this creature appears in the shape of a woman (usually naked) burning in eternal torment with the lower portions, or attached to, an ox cart wheel. The causes bad luck, ill fortune, and misery to those who encounter her, what's more...the bad luck doesn't just stop at one person, it can spread through the entire community associated with anyone who has met her. She also harvests the souls of the 'impure', the cruel, the sinful, etcetera, etcetera.

Likhoradka/Tryasavitsa

Origin: Slavic

Embodying a tall woman with black, messy hair, Likhoradka will spread  horrible calamities and plague wherever she goes, and to whomever she encounters. She can also possess anyone she chooses.

Black Annis/Agnes

Origin: British

Save your jokes, this lady is not someone you want to mess with. Absolutely hideous creature, a wizened crone with gnarly black claws, sharp teeth, one eye, and mottled blue skin. Some say her claws are made of iron, some say they're just...particularly strong, I suppose. Residing around Leicestershire, Agnes spends most of her free time tearing travelers to pieces, redecorating her cave with the flayed skin of small children, and generally just being a terrible neighbor. Meg Mucklebones, anyone?

Kanontsistonties

Origin: Iriquois

Say what you will about Native American mythology, it seems to me that they really take the cake for the creepiest monsters out there. As much as I adore the Windigo, I felt like maybe delving into something a little less popular. Varying in size from miniscule to massive, the Kanontsistonties are essentially flying skulls with bat wings and a desperate craving for...you guessed it...human flesh. They are the product of two possibilities, victims of murder by beheading, or...they used to be cannibals in life, and decided they just couldn't kick the habit in death either. They can't stop, as they have no stomachs, so they're pretty much doomed to eternal hunger.

Cheval Mallet

Origin: French

Horses. You can't trust them. I had a horse step on my foot once. I didn't like it. So when I learned of the Cheval Mallet, it came as no surprise that it turned out to be an evil horse. Well, that and the fact that I took French in high school, so the connection wasn't too hard to make. Essentially, it appears at night as a beautiful horse, tricks you into riding it...and that's it, for the rest of your life (and onwards), you're trapped for eternity riding a beautiful horse. A beautiful evil horse. Or it drowns you. They like doing that, too.

Halloween Myths and Misconceptions

Halloween is a kid’s holiday nowadays. Oh sure, some of us more obsessive adults (especially myself) may still enjoy the festivities of dressing up, visiting haunted houses, having horror marathons, summoning the dead…but really, it’s marketed as a day for children. They put on their cute little outfits, grab their buckets and pillowcases, then terrorize local adults by demanding candy or promising pranks if candy is not delivered. It’s a magical time.

It’s also pretty dangerous. But, is it as dangerous as certain stories will have you believe? Do some adults really poison pixie sticks, stick razor blades in their apples, and round up local black cats for mass slaughter? Let’s consider these myths/stories and others, and consider the benefits of these tales.

Legend Number One: Your Kids’ Candy Might be Poisoned/Don’t Trust Strange Fruit

Look, there aren’t really any cases of this actually happening. There are movies, there are yearly articles in the local paper, and there are TV advisories. It’s believable though, because it’s possible. People always like to ‘debunk’ the candy myth, because the evidence is so scarce. There was a guy in ’74 who poisoned his own child with pixie sticks to collect the insurance, and he did indeed try to poison other kids too in order to make it look like there was a local madman doing the deed, but that’s one case…and it wasn’t even from a stranger. The rule of the myth is that it has to be random, not pre-meditated.

That doesn’t mean people don’t stick stuff in fruit, though. But when you consider it, any adult handing out nutritious things or pennies on Halloween is pretty sick. I wouldn’t put it past them to have something sneaky up their dastardly health-conscious sleeves.

The fact of the matter is this: check your kid’s candy. Not because of this myth being true or confirmed (which it statistically hasn’t been), but because someone will eventually decide to do it, and you can never be too careful when it comes from letting your kids eat things random strangers hand out to them. Don’t confiscate it if it’s safe, because that makes you a dick. Just be smart about it. As far as pennies go, don’t let your kids eat those…and the fruit? Wash it, cut it up, check it. That is, if your kid even wants to bother with the bruised apple that was probably sitting in some lazy guy’s pantry for the last 3 weeks.

Legend Number Two: Felix the Splat

If you’ve ever followed your local news, there are probably weekly issues with cats being beaten to death or maimed. Whether teenagers, kids, adults, whatever…some people are just sick. A lot of animal shelters refuse to adopt out black cats in October, just to be on the safe side. Now, online sources I’ve looked into say there isn’t enough evidence to support this…however, I’ve lived in neighborhoods where the black cat tradition proved true. I’ve gone to animal shelters where the people who worked there have seen it first-hand. So it’s either just a problem in the Central Texas area, or it is in some way true in other places as well.

The fact of the matter is this: If you have a black cat, there’s nothing wrong with keeping them indoors on October to be on the safe side. If you don’t like letting him or her inside, keep a kitty carrier, or maybe consider not getting a black cat next time you adopt. Frankly, no matter what the color, indoor cats statistically tend to live longer than outdoor cats anyway.

Legend Number Three: Bloody Mary

Don’t be stupid.

The fact of the matter is this: She doesn’t exist. Period. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Legend Number Four: Often, They Come Back

It isn't ectoplasm, it's just a really bad ear infection...

Samhain/Halloween/Dia De Los Muertos/Hungry Ghost Festival, there’s a common theme that the veil between the living and the dead grows thinner. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of scientific studies that confirm this. There actually aren’t really any at all, otherwise it would be a world news sort of thing, and it wouldn’t be relegated to the land of legend and ‘I heard it from a friend who knew a guy who had a cousin’.

The fact of the matter is this: There are exorcists out there. There are mentally unsound people who pretty much believe they’re possessed. There’s no physical evidence of the dead being able to visit you this time of year, but is the risk of becoming a plaything of Satan/nutcase really worth it? That’s really your choice.