Vintage Comics: Blue Bolt Weird Tales #116: The Ghostly Guardians, The Weird Mr. & Mrs. Murder; Deathc Danger, and Deceit (Cover - Pg. 15)

 No excuses. I watched the debates tonight and am rushing for an entry before bed - - so comics today, commentary tomorrow.

Book of the Week: Yurei Attack! The Japanese Ghost Survival Guide

You probably knew this was coming on some level. Maddy goes to Japan for 2 weeks, we're either going to have to put up with a slideshow of pictures she took, a bunch of stories about the food she ate, or something that we really don't care about. Well, you were wrong! I actually picked up several books on the trip, and I'd like to recommend a couple. Yes--all of them were about monsters, ghosts, or demons.

Japanese mythology is probably one that I've always sort of been lacking in. Not because I'm not interested, but because there's just so many different types of creatures in them. From old clothes and furniture to the embodiment of a really good or really bad feeling, everything seems to be able to become some kind of monster. Ghost movies always seem to follow the same thread, where some angry lady has long hair that gets everywhere, and regardless of a person's guilt in her death she is going to haunt the crap out of them. Well, I discovered through this awesome book that isn't just a film trope. It's part of their actual belief in ghosts, which is wildly different from our own. I can't recommend this enough if you really want to explore anything and everything about Japanese ghosts.

Horror Flick of the Week: The Ritual

Yet again Netflix brought another unexpected excellent horror film to the table that I sat down and watched on pain of death. That means my mom made me watch it, but I was pleasantly surprised. A young man is traumatized after his friend is murdered and goes on a vacation about a year later with their remaining group, haunted by more than just bad memories. What I loved about this film is that at the end there were so many things to discuss and figure out, scenes to reflect on. My favorite type of movie, horror or otherwise.

Short Story Recommendations

So a couple of these might have been mentioned in previous posts, but I really can't stress enough how great they are. Today I'd like to give you guys a few recommendations for some simple, fun short stories to pass the haunting hours this month. Attached will be pictures of the books I've found them in for easy reference. So, without further ado, let's get into it!

W. S. by L. P. Hartley

Though that may be a mouthful of single letters, this short story was what inspired today's post. I think all of us who read, or who have grown up reading, are victims of our own need to buy more books even when we've got a shelf or two of the ones we still haven't managed to get around to. '11 Great Horror Stories' was one of the many, because I was familiar with more than half of the works in it (The Dunwich Horror, The Judge's House, The Shed, etc.) W.S. however, seems to be the ancestor of a very familiar trope (one especially popular with Stephen King) of a writer having a mental battle with one of his own creations. Sadly, this story was published posthumously, and I can only hope it wasn't autobiographical.

Fish Night by Joe R. Lansdale

Did you honestly think you'd get through an entry of mine about short stories without at least one Lansdale story sneaking in here? Fish Night is one of his more peculiar (though they've all sort of got that title) works about the phantoms of long dead sea creatures float about in the desert that used to be the ocean they lived in. It's such an interesting concept, I couldn't pass it up.

Drink My Blood by Richard Matheson

Throughout middle school, junior high, and high school - - this story was my white whale. I had read about it once in a small encyclopedia entry, and was obsessed with finding it. Now I may not be ancient, but it was a lot harder in the early to mid-2000s to find out of print books unless you dealt with certain vendors or were old enough to have a card and drop some cash online (which I was not). So when I finally stumbled on this book at a garage sale several years ago, and at long last got to read the story by Richard Matheson about a young boy obsessed with becoming a vampire, it was the best feeling in the world. Yes, it didn't live up to the hype, but I still highly recommend this story (if you can find it. It'll be a lot easier now than it was then...)

Sabrina by Don Wulffson

This one is not so much terrifying as a little upsetting (especially if you're an adult). A young boy falls in love with a beautiful performer, and things work out in the most twisted way possible thanks to a few nasty adults. For those of you who have somehow read this, I'm sure you'll understand why I had to keep it vague for that bizarre little twist.

A Grave Misunderstanding by Leon Garfield

There's no deep message behind this one, nothing beyond the whole 'man's best friend' concept wherein a dog keeps his master safe from a pretty ghost--and, well, a pretty living woman too. It's worth a read for the humor and the oddly poetic nature of a dog's point of view.

Book of the Week: The Amityville Horror by Jay Anson

When I was a kid, hands-down Amityville horror was one of those movies that was so dark and creepy, I couldn't really sit through it until I was probably 10 (which, if you've read and heard my ramblings over the last few years, you'll realize was pretty late for me, considering I had watched Dead Alive probably a dozen times at that point.) This is the book that started it all.

I'm not going to say it's based on a true story. I desperately want to, but I think we can all agree that events in this story are highly dramatized. There have been lawsuits. Debates. Fights. I'd like to believe drunken horror nerd brawls, even, about the events in this book based on the horrific ghostly experiences of the Lutz family in 1975. They left the house in just under a month.

For context, in 1974 Ronald DeFreo Jr brutally murdered his family in this house (which, to its credit, looks like a pretty damn creepy house even without the overlay and flames on the modernized book cover above). This book is not about Ronald, but each element of the book sort of comes together very well, and if you haven't had enough of the fictional story, there's so much you can explore after you've read this (from DeFreo to the Warrens, a pair of paranormal investigators whose cases inspired Jay Anson to write this). True or not, it's a great book, a modern classic, and well worth your time on a stormy night or a sunny day.

Drive-in Trailers: Heavy Metal Horror

Warm up the projector, it's time yet again (and at long last) for some movie trailers! You thought I'd run out? Hah! This week, I'd like to feature a nice little niche subgenre, 'heavy metal horror'. 'Rocksploitation'. Or, 'Pardon Me, But Your Guitar is in My Neck.'

A lot of these films may be somewhat difficult to watch, but they've also all got something in common worth noting: awesome soundtracks. If any of you gets the chance to snatch up a copy of the Rocktober Blood album, do it! Unfortunately, the epitome of all 80s Metal Horror movies, Rock N Roll Nightmare, did not have a trailer available...so, in lieu of that, Thor's 'erotic final battle' sequence is here instead. Not a trailer, but--well, I mean, that's the only part anybody wants to watch anyway. Remember kids, stay in school, don't do drugs, don't worship Satan, and under no circumstances ever pick up a Twisted Sister album!

Odd Monsters

Bored with the bogeyman? Not finding the clown thing too funny anymore? Are vampires in your nightmares just sucking you dry? Well, not to worry, there's plenty of 'wonderful' creatures out there to ensure that your psyche stays freshly traumatized for years to come. Keeping the Japanese one to just one, because their mythology is so broad with yokai and spirits, that you can't possibly cover them all in one go.

Katawaguruma/Katawa Guruma

Origin: Japanese

The female counterpart to the Wa nyūdō, this creature appears in the shape of a woman (usually naked) burning in eternal torment with the lower portions, or attached to, an ox cart wheel. The causes bad luck, ill fortune, and misery to those who encounter her, what's more...the bad luck doesn't just stop at one person, it can spread through the entire community associated with anyone who has met her. She also harvests the souls of the 'impure', the cruel, the sinful, etcetera, etcetera.

Likhoradka/Tryasavitsa

Origin: Slavic

Embodying a tall woman with black, messy hair, Likhoradka will spread  horrible calamities and plague wherever she goes, and to whomever she encounters. She can also possess anyone she chooses.

Black Annis/Agnes

Origin: British

Save your jokes, this lady is not someone you want to mess with. Absolutely hideous creature, a wizened crone with gnarly black claws, sharp teeth, one eye, and mottled blue skin. Some say her claws are made of iron, some say they're just...particularly strong, I suppose. Residing around Leicestershire, Agnes spends most of her free time tearing travelers to pieces, redecorating her cave with the flayed skin of small children, and generally just being a terrible neighbor. Meg Mucklebones, anyone?

Kanontsistonties

Origin: Iriquois

Say what you will about Native American mythology, it seems to me that they really take the cake for the creepiest monsters out there. As much as I adore the Windigo, I felt like maybe delving into something a little less popular. Varying in size from miniscule to massive, the Kanontsistonties are essentially flying skulls with bat wings and a desperate craving for...you guessed it...human flesh. They are the product of two possibilities, victims of murder by beheading, or...they used to be cannibals in life, and decided they just couldn't kick the habit in death either. They can't stop, as they have no stomachs, so they're pretty much doomed to eternal hunger.

Cheval Mallet

Origin: French

Horses. You can't trust them. I had a horse step on my foot once. I didn't like it. So when I learned of the Cheval Mallet, it came as no surprise that it turned out to be an evil horse. Well, that and the fact that I took French in high school, so the connection wasn't too hard to make. Essentially, it appears at night as a beautiful horse, tricks you into riding it...and that's it, for the rest of your life (and onwards), you're trapped for eternity riding a beautiful horse. A beautiful evil horse. Or it drowns you. They like doing that, too.

Horror Flick of the Week: Nightmare Castle (1965)

It is no secret that a disgustingly high number of classic films, and especially Italian ones, found themselves butchered terribly in their transitions to the American screen. I've heard Nightmare Castle is no exception, but if you're looking for the full version, you can find it under the title of 'The Faceless Monster'. The discrepancy is 11 minutes. Pacing and I believe a bit of violence being the key missing bits...

However, I am not necesarilly a purist about these things. Because I can still enjoy it on its own if I haven't seen the original first, and that's why I'd recommend Nightmare Castle to any fan of B movies, Italian Gothic horror, Bava-esque settings, and of course...Barbara Steele. The one and only.

Throughout this film, I found myself mostly appreciating the set...the house...the costumes...and the fact that it really wasn't as slow as some people would have you believe. Especially if you're used to the sort of dragging elements Italian cinema is especially known for, the general classic philosophy of their filmmaking being that 'cinema is about the art and the experience, not the plot or the philosophy of being concise.' Taking that into consideration, there's quite a bit of plot in this that you wouldn't otherwise expect. A mad scientist tortures his adulterous wife to death, uses her blood to youthen their maid (who is obviously his dish on the side), then marries her step (or half) sister to get the family property and fortune...did I mention Barbara Steele is in dual roles? Barbara Steele is in dual roles.

A great film for the approaching holiday season. Check it out as soon as possible, and especially if it's dark and stormy in your neck of the woods. You won't regret it.

Ghost-Proof Your House

As Halloween draws near, I know I can't be the only person concerned about unwanted spirits trying to snatch candy from my doorstep pretending to be children. Or worse, trying to snatch my soul while I'm sleeping, possibly even curse my family for generations. So it's probably a good idea for us to explore our options to ensure a spook-free spooky day. That won't be too hard, thanks to these tips from around the world. Now you can practice prevention, and save yourself countless legal and/or religious fees when you have to get your dog exorcised.

Unlucky Math

Now, I'm sure you all know the number one fear of ghosts and spirits all around the planet. Yes, that's right. NUMBERS. They can't stand certain numbers. It probably has something to do with traumatic afterlife math exams, and seeing the wrong numbers can either send them flying into a destructive rage, leaving your house dripping with ectoplasm...or drive them away. Now, in places like Japan, it's a safe bet to avoid the number '4'. So skip out on the addresses with '4' in them, the floors with 4 on them, the hospital wings with '4' around them...in fact, just to be certain, you'd better start jumping from 3 to 5 when you count. Now that I think about it, do the same thing with '13' as well. And any math equation with '13' and '4' involved in the same formula...well, that's just downright begging for trouble.

Sage

Thanks to modern technology, and the magic of spray bottles, we can condense just about anything into a spritz-friendly form. No longer will you have to cleanse your home and set off the smoke detector at the same time. As we all know, spirits hate cooking. More than cooking, they hate sage...it leaves an awful taste in the mouths of the damned and the wondering souls tormented already by modern interior decorating choices. With the aid of burnt sage, or a useful spray as the one above, you can simply waft those pesky spooks out the door. You probably shouldn't spray this on your food, though...

Mirrors

Use your mirrors responsibly. If someone is ill or preparing to shuffle off their mortal coil, keep mirrors out of the room at all costs. As we all know, people are highly susceptible to having their souls sucked out of them in weakened states, due to the powerful nature of science and maths, refraction and light...something like that...basically mirrors bad. Also, avoid looking in them at night or by candle-light, or you're just inviting trouble. If your loved one refuses to part with their vanity table during their final hours, try and at least point the mirror in the other direction, because not only are they risking being trapped in that mirror...but also becoming a vampire. Apparently. It's also a good idea to avoid sleeping in front of a mirror, and just keep that baby moving around the house. You never know when evil spirits might be sneaking around, and they just love looking at themselves.

Feng Shui

As I'm sure you can infer from the above highly-detailed chart, Feng Shui is essential in ensuring that your life does not fall to pieces in a horrible raging fire thanks to your poor decisions and choices when it comes to picking both your furniture and the exact location of said furniture. What most people neglect to mention is the most important fact of all about Feng Shui: it guards your house from unwanted ghost guests. That's right, spirits can't stand a well-put-together interior decorating plan. They hate brightness, holy objects, clean homes, and bathrooms without windows. They do like houses packed with yin, however. So keep in mind that sometimes a feminine (yin) touch may not be so great when you're looking to keep spirits away. If you want to make sure to keep the yin low, stay away from cemeteries and churches, make sure you've got a lotta wang energy coming in through your front door, and do NOT forget this...under no circumstances should you plant willows or banana trees in your yard. Witches love bananas.

Seancey Seances

There's something about the idea of a group of people joining together to make a misguided attempt to speak with the other side. Sometimes they do it with pencils. Sometimes they do it with tables. Sometimes even board games or bowls of water. It all goes back to blindly exploring the unknown, which MIGHT be pleasant, but more likely sinister. At least...from the perspective of a horror lover. Frankly, I think we could do with more movies focused on these sorts of people, because I've enjoyed many of the ones I've seen.

So for those of you who believe a picture tells a thousand words, I bring you some of my favorite illustrations and photographs of old seances. Enjoy! Be aware, though, that if someone starts knocking on your desk...you probably shouldn't answer it. And yes, that one is Harry Houdini.

Vintage Comics: Horrific, Issue #1: The Ghost's Last Laugh, Iron Doom, The Dancer of Death (Pg. 18 - End )

Finishing up the rest of this issue, Horrific appears to be surprisingly short compared to other series issues I've posted. I'd like to start this entry by saying something I think will be on everyone's minds after reading these pages. Pennypacker is the greatest surname ever created. Also, I wonder if the Ghost's Last Laugh partially inspired Neil Jordan when he wrote the screenplay for High Spirits? I actually really liked this one, and in fact would go so far as to say it's just about my favorite written story from any of the comics I posted so far, in it's charming little way. Any time bureaucracy and economics are brought in to deal with the supernatural, it's always worth a good laugh. A lot of these stories, such as Iron Death, also really make me long for the days of horror when spooky castles were employed more regularly. Do you hear me, Hollywood? Bring back the cobwebs and the stone ruins, the iron maidens and the tortured souls. Because there are only so many vintage comics left for me to post!