Horror Flick of the Week: Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde (1995)

 

Listen - - okay, so you know when I start a sentence with that word, I'm about to give you a long-winded explanation about why I'm right when it's clear you're right. This movie IS bad. It's bad good - - bad good, in the way only an early to mid 90s movie can be. AND yes, it's not really a horror film, but it plays on tropes of a classic horror story. Plus, Tim Daly needs more love, and I must've watched this film 1000 times growing up. This does perhaps go back to the fact that my parents probably should've screened the stuff I rented more thoroughly, but here we are today. I 'm 35, somewhat well-adjusted, and I still love this wonderfully silly and incredibly problematic 'horror' comedy - - what's more, I'm recommending it to you, if you haven't seen it.

If you love old-fashioned shopping montages, Harvey Fierstein (you remember him, Robin Williams's brother in Mrs. Doubtfire), Sean Young at her most beautiful, and pseudo-science disguising itself as aromatic chemistry, give this one shot. Maybe take a shot or two in the process, but this is my pick for the week. It's just fun. (If you want something with the same plot, but more along the lines of legitimate horror, I do highly recommend Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde too.)

Horror Flick of the Week: Vampire Party/Le Dents de la Nuit (2008)

I'm not going to lie. This movie is incredibly silly. It's also quite fun. What could be better than a hodge podge of strangers going to an exclusive late night party on an island out in the middle of nowhere? What if I told you Tchéky Karyo plays an evil vampiric count with the most glorious hair you'll ever see? Still not impressed? How about a magical spell-book that not only binds souls to Hell, but can also conveniently disguise you like a mariachi player or something else equally as ridiculous and fantastical?

Listen, it's just a fun movie. It's great for the Halloween season, and it's dark with enough of a light-hearted twist to leave you with only very mild nightmares at best.

Horror Flick of the Week: The Ghost and Mr. Chicken

I think it’s fair to say any person with even the smallest sense of humor knows Don Knotts was brilliantly funny. Anyone who says otherwise is a dirty, filthy liar. In fact, he was so funny, he took a character on the Andy Griffith show who was supposed to be a minor role…and transformed it into a supporting one, because Don Knotts was just that good. But the best part about Don Knotts? Unlike Jerry Lewis, sitting through a marathon with Don Knotts won’t leave you with a headache.

Anyway, before I start preaching the Gospel of Knotts, let’s talk about this Halloween classic. Actually, it’s a classic in general, but for the sake of October I’m going to go ahead and add Halloween to it. You’ve got your basic Don Knotts storyline, with an awkward coward being thrust into a series of predicaments, and somehow bungling through the whole adventure.

Luther works for the press…type setting, and he’s just driven by a drunk who collapsed by the side of the road after receiving a rather nasty knock on the head by a mysterious block of wood. Right when Luther thinks he’s got a scoop for a sinister murder, he rushes to the police station to tell his story. Right in the middle of it-…the guy walks into the room. Poor Luther never hears the end of it the following morning at the boarding house he lives in. I suppose it doesn’t help that one of the people living there is Luther’s rival in love and work…Ollie Weaver.

But I think we all know the real villain here wasn’t a killer, but a dirty egg thief. This old guy at the table steals that woman’s egg, and nobody even notices! Criminal mastermind, no doubt.

There’s a big deal about to happen, Nicholas Simmons is going to buy his uncle’s house. Why’s that a big deal? Because his uncle murdered his wife and then killed himself 20 years ago. Apparently the house is haunted, and people hear the organ playing all by itself late at night. The anniversary of the murder is coming up, too, and who better to write about it than Mr. Chicken himself? By Mr. Chicken, I’m of course referring 

to Luther…

Clear sign of a haunted house: abandoned for several years, no damage to paint or wallpaper, no foundation problems, perfect condition, crap-load of cobwebs. Ghosts appreciate solid craftsmanship and so do spiders. Luther is in for one wild night…and I’d expect nothing less from Don Knotts.

 But this is just the beginning, pretty soon a sensational article comes out of this experience…and the whole town is stirred up. The least of which is a group of old melodramatic biddies. The worst? Nicholas Simmons.

Much of this movie plays out like an older Scooby-Doo episode, sans a gang of meddling kids and repetitive running sequences. This is the sort of film I’ll pull out to show my younger cousins, if I feel they’re not ready for Vincent Price or Robert Englund just yet.