Odd Monsters

Bored with the bogeyman? Not finding the clown thing too funny anymore? Are vampires in your nightmares just sucking you dry? Well, not to worry, there's plenty of 'wonderful' creatures out there to ensure that your psyche stays freshly traumatized for years to come. Keeping the Japanese one to just one, because their mythology is so broad with yokai and spirits, that you can't possibly cover them all in one go.

Katawaguruma/Katawa Guruma

Origin: Japanese

The female counterpart to the Wa nyūdō, this creature appears in the shape of a woman (usually naked) burning in eternal torment with the lower portions, or attached to, an ox cart wheel. The causes bad luck, ill fortune, and misery to those who encounter her, what's more...the bad luck doesn't just stop at one person, it can spread through the entire community associated with anyone who has met her. She also harvests the souls of the 'impure', the cruel, the sinful, etcetera, etcetera.

Likhoradka/Tryasavitsa

Origin: Slavic

Embodying a tall woman with black, messy hair, Likhoradka will spread  horrible calamities and plague wherever she goes, and to whomever she encounters. She can also possess anyone she chooses.

Black Annis/Agnes

Origin: British

Save your jokes, this lady is not someone you want to mess with. Absolutely hideous creature, a wizened crone with gnarly black claws, sharp teeth, one eye, and mottled blue skin. Some say her claws are made of iron, some say they're just...particularly strong, I suppose. Residing around Leicestershire, Agnes spends most of her free time tearing travelers to pieces, redecorating her cave with the flayed skin of small children, and generally just being a terrible neighbor. Meg Mucklebones, anyone?

Kanontsistonties

Origin: Iriquois

Say what you will about Native American mythology, it seems to me that they really take the cake for the creepiest monsters out there. As much as I adore the Windigo, I felt like maybe delving into something a little less popular. Varying in size from miniscule to massive, the Kanontsistonties are essentially flying skulls with bat wings and a desperate craving for...you guessed it...human flesh. They are the product of two possibilities, victims of murder by beheading, or...they used to be cannibals in life, and decided they just couldn't kick the habit in death either. They can't stop, as they have no stomachs, so they're pretty much doomed to eternal hunger.

Cheval Mallet

Origin: French

Horses. You can't trust them. I had a horse step on my foot once. I didn't like it. So when I learned of the Cheval Mallet, it came as no surprise that it turned out to be an evil horse. Well, that and the fact that I took French in high school, so the connection wasn't too hard to make. Essentially, it appears at night as a beautiful horse, tricks you into riding it...and that's it, for the rest of your life (and onwards), you're trapped for eternity riding a beautiful horse. A beautiful evil horse. Or it drowns you. They like doing that, too.

Spring-Heeled Jack

Ah, England. The land of Shakespeare, the land of fish and chips, and the land of Spring-Heeled Jack…who I’m sure you’ve heard of. You know the guy. Black cloak, glowing red eyes, point ears, claws like iron, breathed fire?

Spring-Heeled Jack is one of those urban legends I don’t quite understand. Kind of like the Chupacrabra. I don’t get the Chupacabra. I don’t get Big Foot either, come to think of it.

He wasn’t a super-villain in some comic book, believe it or not. He was a supposedly real figure who terrorized small towns throughout the early 19^th century, until he made his debut in London. That was when the stories really began to pick up. It became an almost weekly event for some sort of mention of him in one newspaper or another.

It’s believed that Spring-Heeled Jack could jump great heights, leaping in bounds over buildings with ease. Some witnesses described him as a cloaked man with springs in his boots. I suppose the idea was so convincing, Germany tried to implement the idea in WWII on their paratroopers. Unfortunately for them, the only results were badly broken ankles.

Spring-Heeled Jack’s favorite past-times were tearing women’s clothing, and slapping men on the face. Sometimes he’d even blind the occasional victim with his fire breath. He gave an original meaning to the term ‘Halitosis’, in that regard.

His most infamous sighting was in 1904, when he was spotted by over 100 witnesses in Liverpool. This was also the final time he would be seen in England for 70 years. Kind of sad when you think about it, as if everyone banded together to give their kinky bogey man a good send-off before retiring.

It's widely believed Spring-Heeled Jack was actually a young nobleman, the Marquess of Waterford, who didn't really get on well with police or women. He may very well have been the first Spring-Heeled Jack, having taken a bet with several friends. I suppose the bet was something along the lines of 'run about the city making an ass of yourself with slinkies in your shoes', or something along those lines. Regardless, sightings continued after the Marquess had married, and even after he died in 1859.

He would be spotted several more times in the 1970s and 80s, but the story had lost most of it’s punch. Or slap. Spring-Heeled Jack was a good example of an era monster, defined by the culture he originated from.

Vintage Comics: Chamber of Chills – The Ghost of the Rue De Morte, How Death Valley Got Its Name, Weird Worlds (29-36)

Finishing up the final portion of this ‘Chamber of Chills’, the first story focuses on that age-old saying…curiosity killed the cat. Sometimes it seems being a skeptic is far more dangerous than it’s worth, especially when it comes to investigating an apparent ghost in a shady area of the city late at night. You’d think the man would have at least had a gun to defend himself with.

Then we get some fun facts about a group of people who struggled to get across Death Valley, and a bit of mythology. The ancient Greeks and Romans sure could be brutal with their stories. Anyway, it was fun to read this issue, but I still can’t let go of the nagging fact that there’s a serious case of excessive exposition…