Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Memento Mori, Jewelry, Art, and Pictures

For those of you unaware of Victorian death photos, I would like to give you a warning that the following pictures in this post may be somewhat disturbing, and if you do not wish to see dead people...pictures of actual people when they were dead...now would be the best time to skip through this post and ignore it.

"Remember thy death". When you see something simple like a skeleton dancing in an old cartoon, or a cloaked figure playing chess with Max von Sydow, you remember it. Perhaps not in the same way you should, though, given that many people nowadays would rather follow the philosophy of "momento mori non potesse", the idea that they can't die. I think this feeling may have contributed in just a tiny way to the gradual transition for the vampire to a protagonist over the years.

Back on topic, because I can't just always switch it back to vampires, most of us may view the whole concept of Victorian memento mori trinkets *such as death photos, locks of hair, and jewelry* quite morbid. Still others may find it unhealthy, thinking it glorifies death. I don't think it does. However, as distanced as Western culture has become from death, thankfully due to advances in medical technology, memento mori...is ultimately disturbing. It's creepy. It's...scary.


Out of all the pictures I've seen, this one really sends shivers down my spine. The picture itself, because this is clearly a family who had just begun their lives together. The story is even worse. Mary, the young mother in the coffin, murdered her husband and mortally wounded her baby before committing suicide. They had already lost a baby earlier due to sickness, and Mary had spent some time in the mental hospital as a result.


Photography was not cheap back then. You couldn't just pull out your phone, or even pick up a disposable piece of junk from your local store. People had to pose for long periods of time, and spend lots of money just to have a photograph taken. Sometimes the only reason a person would ever spend that kind of cash on a few photographs may be when a loved one has passed. What if you knew tomorrow that you would never see someone close to you again, never touch them, never even get closer than six feet? What if this was all you had to keep you comfort over the coming years without them?

Of course, there were other options. Hair, the natural thread most of us take for granted, could be cut from the dead, and crafted into simple little twists, or such intricate art, it's almost as if a part of that person lived on in a completely different way...






Pay close attention next time you find yourself in an antique shop. You'd be surprised at how many of these pieces of art and photographs you may find.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Horror Flick of the Week: Bride of Chucky

I am so tired of people tearing into this movie lately, with the new (and amazing-looking) release of the latest 'Child's Play' coming out. They say this one made it into a comical sort of series, and I completely disagree. Seed...well, Seed is the real comedy movie. Bride still has quite a few great horror moments in it. The opening alone is filled with awesome atmosphere, and I find it a heck of a lot creepier than the second film's opening. Frankly, I can't stand the third...


Anyway, I don't really remember full pictures of Tiffany being released before the movie came out, just these sort of creepy banners that lagged a lot with their primitive 90s graphics. I mean, this is pretty much what you got, and it was an effective teaser...


You can just imagine an impressionable 8-year-old horror addict going crazy over this displaying itself at the bottom of the page every time he or she might sneak online during computer class. I wish I could go through a feeling like that again, especially the day I finally got to watch the damn thing. What's funny, is that it still puts me in a sort of 'creepy mood' when I watch it, unlike many other over-the-top scary films.


It starts with a guy going through what I can only imagine is an evidence rooms, with shots of different lockers containing your average confiscated things: Michael's mask, Jason's mask and machete, Freddy's glove, etc. etc. Boring, right? Then...a black bag...and the guy takes it. It's not too long before we discover what's in the bag, right after the guy gets brutally murdered...


Yes. Chucky. He's not being re-made either, so Tiffany, his former girlfriend, sews him up. After a voodoo ritual and a murder, he's right as rain again, and they're finally going to get married-...not really. Actually, apparently there was a misunderstanding about some sort of proposal that never happened, and Chucky (Charles Lee Ray) had no intentions of marrying his sweetheart.



Fellows, if you're 1 foot tall, and dating a serial killer who just happily watched you murder her boy toy...do try not to piss her off...


You might end up like this...


And that will only lead to this...


Then you'll feel bad, and of course you'll do this...


And before you know it, John Ritter's dead in his niece's truck peppered with nails-...trust me, it's an absolute nightmare, and you'll probably have to do all the cleaning up.

It's probably best to avoid all that drama in the first place, and watch 'Bride of Chucky' instead. Then you can both just kiss, make up, and hide the body together. Ultimately, that's what love is all about.


Sunday, July 7, 2013

Silent Horrors: All Made Up

That picture post I made recently of young horror masters left me thinking about Lon Chaney. For those of us who know horror, and even films, he's the 'Man of 1000 Faces'. Think of the flexibility Gary Oldman has on the screen, and you're pretty much starting to gain an idea of this man. Each role he played was distinctly different from the last, and he was a magnificent character actor. I could devote an entire segment to him and still not even come close to describing how influential Lon ultimately was and is still for horror today, but this isn't going to be about Chaney sr, though I suppose in the future I'll devote something to him (he died 4 days before my birthday, after all. Not the literal day I was born, because I'm 23, but you get the idea.) Anyway, the whole point of this illustration is to talk about the make-up. He's great to start with, because he's the most recognizable. Here's a few great examples of Lon Chaney's monsters...

The Hunchback of Notre Dame
The Phantom of the Opera
London After Midnight



Silent cinema in particular was very heavy on the atmosphere. That's why body language was infinitely more important, and even moreso when there was proper costuming. Make-up techniques have advanced a lot since then, yet...god they were creepier. Take this older version of Frankenstein, for instance. Inhuman to an extreme degree, and indescribably...disturbing.

Frankenstein

The full feature is available, by the way, on youtube. Generally one picture can never do true justice to a monster. Sadly the same can not be said for the sinister grinning man just above this one. Lon Chaney's 'London After Midnight' is a lost film, and will very likely never be recovered.

Now let's jump onto a few pictures of one of my personal favorites, Conrad Veidt. Even as a monster, he was a beautiful man.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
The Man Who Laughs

The extremes it took for the effect on his lips were incredibly painful. In fact, a lot of the monster make-up in these films was pretty excruciating, when it went beyond pancake and mascara.

Here are a few other monsters worth showing off, just for good measure.

Metropolis (with mask)

Metropolis (without mask)
The Golem
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Nosferatu

Ultimately, there is something terrifying about the human form when tiny features are pulled out of proportion, namely fingers, eyes, and teeth. Honestly, half of these people I'm completely willing to believe really were monsters whenever the silver screen brings them back to life.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Drive-in Trailers: Toys and Games

Be it a possessed doll your mother bought at a discount, or a board game channeling the other side, things from childhood can often have a bit of a...chilling twist. If that corny line wasn't enough to convince you, maybe these trailers will. On a side note...what is it with the 80s and toy movies? Seriously. Also, monkey dolls are really boring. If you want to be properly traumatized, go for a teddy bear with soul-less glass eyes, or a grinning man-child.



Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Terrifyingly Handsome: A Gallery of Young Horror Greats

A lot of people think of Bela Lugosi or Boris Karloff when they were older, as well as many other amazing actors in horror cinema, especially given that some of their more infamous roles were performed when many of these people were in their late 30s and early 40s...so I thought you guys might appreciate these pictures...

Now before you ask where 'Lon Chaney' is, I'd like to point out that he was not terribly youthful when he got into the film business, nor are there a lot of resources when it comes to early cinema, sadly, given that so very many silent pictures are lost to us.

Bela Lugosi



Boris Karloff


Vincent Price



Lon Chaney JR



Christopher Lee



Peter Cushing



This is the first of hopefully many gallery posts of horror greats in their prime...


Don't Rock the Cradle: 5 Really Creepy Kids.

So, upon watching Bloody Birthday this week, I realized something…kids genuinely scare people. Not me, personally, but other people. Right up next to ‘clowns’ on the list of freaky shit, ‘children’ is poorly-scrawled in crayon…or dried blood. I can’t really tell which. At any rate, this list is by no means a definitive one. There are far too many creepy kids out there in the movie world to name, but these are the ones who currently stand out to me.



1.        The Kid with the Gun Fetish in Sixth Sense

So it’s about the shortest appearance on this list, but when that kid walks up and whispers about his dad’s gun…then turns around…BAM! Bloody head! Gets me every time…






2.       The Twins from The Shining

I suppose it’s obvious these girls would make the cut. What gets me is that these are children, trapped here in this hotel, which could very well be hell or some demonic offshoot of earth…what did they do to end up there? Are they even children, or manifestations of something far worse? I didn’t come here today to cross-examine Kubrick or King, so I won’t even get into that powder keg. Let’s just all agree these kids are odd and get on with our lives.





3.       Gage from Pet Sematary

This one his actually pretty heart-breaking. Gage was a normal, adorable toddler in the beginning before his accident. His father pig-headedly brought him back into the world, when he should have known better, and what comes back isn’t the same kid at all. He’s a horrible little demon imp that just happens to look like a child. He’s terrifying, and it’s just about the best damn acting I’ve ever seen from a kid this age.





4.       The Zombie Baby from Dead Alive

Okay, maybe he’s not really a child. He’s a baby. He’s an evil, ugly, far too intelligent zombie baby. He demonstrates child-like joy at the simple things in life, like playtime, and ripping women’s heads in half…this baby is the only reason I can take a dead baby joke, because I always picture him.





5.       The Kids from Bloody Birthday


These kids are really the creepiest for me right now, probably because the film is still fresh in my mind, but also because of one main factor: they’re sociopaths. They are not demons, nor were they brought back from the dead in some misguided ritual, nor are they ghosts seeking the company of other children. They’re just…evil. They kill with no reason other than the sheer fun of it, and what’s more…they don’t care who they kill. Relatives. Friends. Teachers. Random people having sex in cars…they don’t even do it with creepy smiles or cryptic phrases. They act like normal kids maybe sneaking around so their parents don’t catch them watching an r-rated movie, or stealing from the candy shop. They’re the definition of what evil people are, in very small packages.


Sunday, June 30, 2013

Horror Flick of the Week: Waxwork

As I'm sure you're all aware, anything crafted to look like a human being is creepy. Anything crafted to look like a human being that actually comes pretty close is really creepy. Anything crafted to look like a human being that comes to life and actually sucks you into another dimension, then effectively murders you and entraps your soul in a similar form...well, that one is great for a film plot.


Forgiving the quality of the trailer, the dvd and vhs are a little better. There are so many movies out there with wax museums as the main focus of the horror, but this is the only one I'm aware of where it's not just people being murdered and having their bodies hidden in the figures...it's people being sucked into the world's of the creatures, and turning into wax sculptures if they die there. It's a delicious piece of 80s camp I could watch a hundred times or more, and probably have, now that I think about it.

It starts with a man being murdered and robbed, to the tune of some classic swing, and from there the adventure begins. Mark, played by the amazingly awesome Zach Galligan, also known as the defeater of the gremlin army, having an intimate breakfast with his mother. Maybe it's just the length of the table and the obnoxious centerpiece talking, but I gather they aren't too close...



Then we meet Mark's ex-girlfriend, China, who to put it bluntly...is a bit promiscuous. She's chatting it up with the good girl Sarah, when suddenly...


This place appears out of nowhere, then-



OH GOD, IT'S DAVID WARNER! This isn't good...especially not when he invites them to come to his waxwork that night...

The low budget is a given, and there are very minor outdoor moments with some shaky camera-work...but only really if you're looking. My point being I'm not here to pick at the bad bits, only talk about the awesome ones. This movie...is the good side of 80s camp. The sequel is also pretty epic, too. In fact, I'd advise you to watch both. Seriously, they're absolutely amazing. Here, I'll throw in some extra pictures for you, just in case the point hasn't been driven home yet...