Netflix/Hulu/Amazon/Amazon Chiller Streaming List of 2019

Back in the saddle again for one last year (or so it appears) of the horror blog-a-thon, so let's make this a good one, gang! As it stands, it looks like the host is retiring, and unless someone takes up his helm, there will be no more daily October blog-a-thons. This year, rolling out a 2019 streaming list, I'm featuring a combination of Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon/Shudder features to watch each day in October. Won't you join me?

1. What We Become (Hulu)
2. Phantom of the Paradise (Shudder)
3. Se7en (Hulu)
4. In the Tall Grass (Netflix)
5. Ghost Stories (Hulu)
6. The Last Kids on Earth (Netflix)
7. Tigers Are Not Afraid (Shudder)
8. Southbound (Hulu)
9. The Midnight Meat Train (Amazon)
10. Mom and Dad (Hulu)
11. The Gate (Amazon)
12. Viy (Shudder)
13. Marianne (Netflix)
14. We Have Always Lived in this Castle (Netflix)
15. Children of the Corn  (Hulu)
16.Next of Kin (Shudder)
17. The Hole in the Ground (Amazon)
18. Eli (Netflix)
19. Open Water (Hulu)
20. Frogs (Amazon)
21. In The Shadows of the Moon (Netflix)
22. Summer of 84 (Shudder)
23. Dan Curtis' Dracula (Amazon)
24. I Trapped the Devil (Hulu)
25. Head Count (Netflix)
26. Creep (Amazon)
27. The Clovehitch Killer (Hulu)
28. Daybreak (Netflix)
29. Sequence Break (Shudder)
30. Fractured (Netflix)
31. Rattlesnake (Netflix)

Drive-In Trailers: Slash and Trash

With the Halloween-crazy trend this month, I decided it might be time to tackle slasher movie trailers. What better way to pay tribute to the movie that started it all than to look at some of the many, many, many great and campy movies it inspired? Okay, I admit the Sledgehammer clip isn't a trailer, but it would be a crime against humanity NOT to share at least a small clip of the 'masterpiece' that it was.

Netflix/Hulu/Amazon/Amazon Chiller Streaming List of 2018

Well, well, well—October, my old friend, you’re back for another year. Cold breezes blowing in. Eerie children’s laughter echoing around an abandoned swing set. Michael Myers hiding in the bushes while Freddy stalks your nightmares and Jason reminds you to keep your kids far away from summer camp. I guess it’s time to do another streaming list for 31 days of Halloween! This will, as usual, be a combination of Hulu/Amazon Prime and Chiller/Netflix options, with (possibly) a couple of fun streaming Youtube links thrown in for the cheesier fare. Yes, some links may be repeats from last year, but that's because they're fantastic!

1. The Witch
2. The Corpse of Anna Fritz
3. Species
4. Splatter
5. Wolfcop
6. The Fly (1986)
7. Haunters: The Art of the Scare
8. Hellhouse LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel
9. Jaws
10. Bleed
11. Ruin Me
12. The Day of the Triffids
13. Chernobyl Diaries
14. Leviathan: The Story of Hellraiser Part 1
15. Dressed to Kill
16. The Diabolical
17. Single White Female
18. The Return of the Living Dead
19. Clinical
20. Spring
21. King of the Zombies
22. The Eyes of My Mother
23. Five Dolls for An August Moon
24. The Bride
25. Oh My Ghost
26. Absentia
27. The Midnight Man
28. Tale of Tales
29. Species II
30. The Ritual
31. A Bucket of Blood

Drive-in Trailers: Spooky Spooks

At long last, the movie trailers return...from the grave? Not physically, of course. It's only digital media. Speaking of digital media, let's watch trailers about ghosts. If you try to believe hard enough, that segue makes sense.

Drive-in Trailers: Creepy Crawlers (Part 1)

"Don't you ever laugh as the hearse goes by,

For you may be the next one to die.

They wrap you up in a big white sheet

From your head down to your feet.

They put you in a big black box

And cover you up with dirt and rocks.

All goes well for about a week,

Until your coffin begins to leak.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

The worms play pinochle on your scalp,

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,

They eat the jelly between your toes.

A big green worm with rolling eyes

Crawls in your stomach and out your sides.

Your stomach turns a slimy green,

And pus pours out like whipping cream.

You'll spread it on a slice of bread,

And this is what you eat when you are dead." 

That song...for me as an impressionable child...freaked me out. It wasn't the actual part about rotting, or leaking coffins, or dying....it was the worms. The bugs. I don't have an innate fear of insects and their ilk, but I can't help but get a little bit of a shiver when I think about being swarmed by/filled with creepy crawlies. So, in honor of their post as really freaking horrible little monsters...the trailers presented today are all about bugs and arachnids. ENJOY....

I really had no idea there were SO MANY of these movies, it's a very expansive genre. So I decided to stop here for now, or risk getting into the triple digits territory. There will be another one some time in the future though, so keep an eye out...and some bug spray handy.

Drive-in Trailers: HO HO HO-...rror

As Christmas approaches, a strange chill seems to settle over the world. The carnage of Black Friday has passed, but an even greater danger waits. From his frozen lair, the beast awakens. Clawed and grinning, Kris Kringle must once more feed on the children of-…wait, that doesn’t happen? You mean he’s a completely genial symbol of a joyful holiday bringing families together to celebrate the birth of the Christian messiah, winter, and togetherness? Damn. Well, now I suppose this list of Christmas trailers is totally inappropriate…but I’ll list them anyway.

Horror Flick of the Week: Love at First Bite

Every year, my best friend and I gather a collection of our ‘traditional marathon movies’ and watch them like crazy on Halloween. The night always starts with Love at First Bite. Not only is it one of Hamilton’s funniest movies, but he’s also playing Dracula. I’d also like to add that it’s a quote-able movie, with plenty of awesome lines to go around.

The atmosphere at the beginning is great: fog, candle-light, howling wolves and Dracula in tails. In short, they’ve nailed the Tod Browning feel. Renfield is amazingly neurotic, creepy, funny, and…funny. The whole picture is nice and light, like a good appetizer before you sink your teeth into the main dish.

Dracula longs for the company of a woman, Cindy Sondheim, a model in New York. Now Dracula is pretty much always on the prowl, in any and all incarnations he’s ever taken. It’s no surprise then, that Cindy Sondheim is the reincarnation of his true love…Mina Harker. Instead of wasting away longing for her company and reading gossip magazines, though…he’s ousted by the government so his castle can be converted into a training facility for young athletes. This is the perfect opportunity to finally pursue the woman of his dreams.

And what’s an eviction notice without an angry mob of villagers?

He finds her, they spend the evening together, and then-Dracula gets to meet her psychiatrist/occasional love interest…Van Helsing’s grandson. They don't get on.

I’ll leave all the juicy bits out for anyone unfamiliar with this movie to discover on his or her own, but chances are that if you like Tootsie…and if you like Dracula in any form…you’ll probably like this. No, there sadly isn’t any drag, but it really brings Tootsie to mind anyway. I guess it’s the time period…or the setting…or the wig. Not sure. I’ll get back to you on that.

Netflix in October: Must-Watch Instants

So, sometimes I think chugging through the list of films on Netflix can be a bit tiring. There's a huge selection of good movies, but there's an even bigger one of absolutely terrible films that should be sealed in a cement block filed at a hidden warehouse below the ocean.

For those of you, anxious to get into the Halloween spirit, here's a list of movies starting today on the 5th to last you until the 31st of October, one for each day. Rest assured, I don't suggest them unless I think they're worth watching. You can mix up the order all you like, this is just how I personally think I'm going to do it this year.

Oct. 5: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil
Oct. 6: Session 9
Oct. 7: Vampires in Havana
Oct. 8: Mimic
Oct. 9: Re-Animator
Oct. 10: Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Oct. 11: The Stuff
Oct. 12: Bloody Birthday
Oct. 13: The Faculty
Oct. 14: Snow White: A Tale of Terror
Oct. 15: The Frighteners
Oct. 16: The Evil Dead
Oct. 17: Evil Dead II
Oct. 18: Black Sunday 
Oct. 19: Hellraiser
Oct. 20: Hellraiser II
Oct. 21: Hellraiser IV: Bloodline (...don't bother with the others)
Oct. 22: House on Haunted Hill (1959)
Oct. 23: Rosemary's Baby
Oct. 24: Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight
Oct. 25: Steven King's Children of the Corn
Oct.: 26: Scream
Oct. 27: Scream II
Oct. 28: Carrie (...the original...)
Oct. 29: I Sell The Dead
Oct. 30: Pumpkinhead
Oct. 31: Nosferatu

Don't Rock the Cradle: 5 Really Creepy Kids.

So, upon watching Bloody Birthday this week, I realized something…kids genuinely scare people. Not me, personally, but other people. Right up next to ‘clowns’ on the list of freaky shit, ‘children’ is poorly-scrawled in crayon…or dried blood. I can’t really tell which. At any rate, this list is by no means a definitive one. There are far too many creepy kids out there in the movie world to name, but these are the ones who currently stand out to me.

1.        The Kid with the Gun Fetish in Sixth Sense

So it’s about the shortest appearance on this list, but when that kid walks up and whispers about his dad’s gun…then turns around…BAM! Bloody head! Gets me every time…

2.       The Twins from The Shining

I suppose it’s obvious these girls would make the cut. What gets me is that these are children, trapped here in this hotel, which could very well be hell or some demonic offshoot of earth…what did they do to end up there? Are they even children, or manifestations of something far worse? I didn’t come here today to cross-examine Kubrick or King, so I won’t even get into that powder keg. Let’s just all agree these kids are odd and get on with our lives.

3.       Gage from Pet Sematary

This one his actually pretty heart-breaking. Gage was a normal, adorable toddler in the beginning before his accident. His father pig-headedly brought him back into the world, when he should have known better, and what comes back isn’t the same kid at all. He’s a horrible little demon imp that just happens to look like a child. He’s terrifying, and it’s just about the best damn acting I’ve ever seen from a kid this age.

4.       The Zombie Baby from Dead Alive

Okay, maybe he’s not really a child. He’s a baby. He’s an evil, ugly, far too intelligent zombie baby. He demonstrates child-like joy at the simple things in life, like playtime, and ripping women’s heads in half…this baby is the only reason I can take a dead baby joke, because I always picture him.

5.       The Kids from Bloody Birthday

These kids are really the creepiest for me right now, probably because the film is still fresh in my mind, but also because of one main factor: they’re sociopaths. They are not demons, nor were they brought back from the dead in some misguided ritual, nor are they ghosts seeking the company of other children. They’re just…evil. They kill with no reason other than the sheer fun of it, and what’s more…they don’t care who they kill. Relatives. Friends. Teachers. Random people having sex in cars…they don’t even do it with creepy smiles or cryptic phrases. They act like normal kids maybe sneaking around so their parents don’t catch them watching an r-rated movie, or stealing from the candy shop. They’re the definition of what evil people are, in very small packages.

Drive-in Trailers: Evil Houses and Homes

Let's be honest here, you have nothing to fear from vampires, zombies, werewolves, giant animals, creatures from questionable places, or even mother-in-laws...if you have an evil house. All of these things may make it difficult to sleep at night, but an evil house makes it downright impossible. Here are some trailers to illustrate my point...

Personally, I think I could still manage living in these sorts of places, provided I had a night light...

Drive-in Trailers: Creepy Cats

Dogs are generally a man's best friend in a lot of stories, unless they've got rabies. Cats, however, don't always come out as the 'good guys'. In fact, more often than not, they're downright evil. If they're not, they seem to be very good at driving people insane. I mean, just look at these trailers...

The Chamber of the Obscure: Vampire Movies

There are so very many vampire movies out there, and so very many good ones that people don't seem to be too familiar with. My favorite ones tend to be the flicks time has forgotten or nobody ever seems to watch. I figured these little treats were worth mentioning to those of us who just haven't found the fanged flick with the right bite to it yet. 

1. Love Bites (1993)

For a man who can't stand cleaning, his lacy sleeves sure are white.

Years ago, I got really tired of hunting for copies of this one. So when I finally stumbled on a copy on Ebay, I paid a ridiculously high price for it. Luckily for the lot of you, and not my checkbook, only a few years later it became available on all sorts of sites, including iTunes. It's not scary by a long shot. It's not a big budget picture. The acting isn't even that great. The Adam Ant fan girl in me rebels against the idea, but it's true. HOWEVER, god this is a cute one. A vampire wakes up after about a hundred years of sleeping due to a bad break-up, meets the girl living in his house, and decides he doesn't want to be a vampire anymore. Why? I guess because now that cars can talk, and divorced women are everywhere, he's decided he's found the perfect era to grow old and die in. This screams early 90s, and it used to play on the Scifi channel every Halloween. Sadly, that particular station has turned to crap...but at least the Apple store can help you enjoy it on your phone.

2. Vampires Anonymous (2003)

Just a nip...one tiny bite...

This came on  HBO a few times awhile back, and I never managed to catch the whole thing until I bought the dvd. Now I'll admit, the monsters going to self-help meetings has been a bit over-played as of late. Especially zombies. Thankfully, they manage to make this less about people confessing their morbid habits in a circle, and more about the actual steps to recovery. Vic the vampire attempts to tackle a 12 Step Program in a ten-sheep town, falls in love with a girl, and ska music pursues him throughout his whole journey. Oh, cops too, but they're really just a side story.

3. A Polish Vampire in Burbank (1985)

After this was filmed, both actors above went on to become two of the world's greatest underwear models.

Man, the back-story behind this movie is almost more entertaining than the story itself. It's a movie that started with one actor as the lead, had some union issues, and then had to be completely re-written, with the original lead completely recast and re-written. Apprently it was the first 'Super 8 film to be distributed in video stores and on cable television'. The budget was around 2500. The main character is a vampire with small fangs who has to start bringing home his own blood, or he's out. I won't preach that this is a cinematic masterpiece, but it's incredibly fun to watch. Plus...talking skeletons. If you buy a copy though, please try to get it at www.pirromount.com. 

4. Nightlife (1989)

Time to clean house. Violently/Spiritually!

Another movie of the exact same name came out this year, but it's about zombies. This one is about vampires. If you find a copy, make sure it's got Ben Cross and Keith Szarabajka, or you've got the wrong one. The difference between this flick and the others on the list, is that the main character is female. Not only is she female, but she's pretty good at taking care of herself. Granted, not nearly as good as her ass-kicking Mexican housemaid, who, I'd like to point out, is the greatest vampire hunter I've seen in cinematic history. The acting from the cast is a little better in this one than the other movies on the list, but it was made for tv. If you saw Ben Cross as Barnabas, and wanted more of him in his fanged glory, definitely look for this movie to add to your collection.

5. Vampires in Havana (1985)

Fangs? Check. Claws? Check. Blue tongue? ...What?

Thank god for Netflix. If not, I might have put this one off much longer than it deserves. Just about the easiest movie to find on this list, it's in the rare category of 'awesome adult cartoon'. Awesome because it's not just about boobs, which it actually still has a lot of, but it's also about music. History. Culture. Vampires. Mad scientists. Revolution. Everything you'd want in a good Cuban film. Basically, you've got your vampire doctor trying to find a formula that enables vampires to go out in the sun, and he's been using it on his nephew for years just to make sure it was safe. Any good uncle would do the same. A bunch of gangster vampires find out, and decide to steal the formula so they can market it. What else could you ask for?

Individually, these movies are all amazing, but together, they make for a pretty epic marathon. If you can get your hands on them, try to watch all of these movies in one night. But don't forget the pizza and the garlic bread.