Thursday, October 23, 2014

Bad Omens and Superstitions on Halloween

I think we all know Halloween is a pretty dangerous night, so to protect the wiser amongst you from evil spirits...I have the following suggestions.

Disclaimer: I do not actually believe in any of this. Take it with a grain/circle of salt.

- When you are passing a cemetery, be sure to refrain from breathing. If you do, an evil spirit may possess your body.

- Be sure to keep your house surrounded by wind chimes with bells on them. This will ward away demons and ensure that plenty of angels get new sets of wings.

- Evil witches are color conscious...and they also hate jewelry. Combine their fears by wearing a blue bead on your person so they'll stay away from you.

- Plant ivy around your house to keep even more evil witches away, if the blue bead trick didn't work.

- Wearing a bridal veil will ward off evil spirits and people who place curses on you. I don't think this is gender specific, so if you're a man you might as well wear it too for good measure.

- When a snake crosses your path, it will bring bad luck. Kill it to negate the bad luck. If this is your roommate's pet corn snake, don't worry. They can buy a new one.

- Never throw a dinner party with 13 people unless you plan to stick around. The first person who leaves will die first. I guess it's like the opposite of catching the bouquet at a wedding.

- Don't kill robins, sparrows, ravens, crows, or albatrosses. Robins and sparrows carry the souls of the dead, ravens carry the soul of king Arthur, crows are death incarnate, and if you kill an albatross then you'll be lost at sea and have to recite a really long poem to redeem yourself later.

- People born on Halloween can see/hear evil spirits. This confirms my suspicions about my grandmother.

- If you visit a graveyard with someone and they ask 'where is blankety-blank's grave?' Don't point it out to them, because they're trying to trick you. If you do this, your finger will rot off.

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